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By doriluthy, September 15, 2008 11:09 pm

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By doriluthy, September 15, 2008 10:59 pm

Dori vs 7:30, round 2!

After a fairly un-lovely attempt at doing a full week of 7:30 wake-ups last week, I’ve decided to give it another shot instead of pushing towards 7:00 as I don’t feel like I’ve properly adjusted yet to 7:30. This feels like a good decision, and actually my body seems to be making minor shifts on it’s own towards getting up earlier. I’m actually starting to enjoy it, a tiny wee little bit. yes.

Enough about my mornings… I wanna talk Gaudi. Dustin and I just got back from a screening of Hiroshi Teshigahara’s 1984 documentry on Gaudi, and I AM IN LOVE. Like completely blown away, awe inspired, how the *!@#&? did he do it all? Although the soundtrack of the film was a bit screechy with a too high volume of bad 80’s electric noise played against classical Italian, the shots of his work were, um, WOW! How could he possibly create a model, or a drawing, to convey the intricacies? What kind of master carvers and geniuses worked on them with him? Mathmatical, artistic, spiritual, evocative, social- I am having a hard time getting my head around the scale and intensity of that man’s work.  I now have a serious reason to head to Barcelona. (Dad, wanna go see THIS with me?)

I’m off to bed!

OH! ANGELA!! Happy day late birthday wishes!!!! You were in my heart all day yesterday, I’m sorry I missed getting you on the phone- hope it was a blessed day! (xo)

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By doriluthy, September 10, 2008 9:06 am

ugh. So the 7:30 wake up has been a bit more challenging this week. Nevermind the fact that I’ve been unable to fall asleep until after 1am the past 2 nights! Monday was great- I went to be early on Sunday, and rolled out of bed at the 7:30 alarm on Monday, winded my way downstairs to the sunny patch and flopped out my yoga mat for a good ol session of body twisty and mind calmy. But then I got home late on Monday night (thanks Erin! It was worth it), and although I’ve forced myself out of bed at 8:00, it was hard, and it wasn’t quite the 7:30 I’ve been working towards. And the same happened again last night/this morning. I can see I have to work on my bedtimes.

The good news? I’m not beating myself up over it. I’m being very kind to myself and just acknowledging that this wasn’t the plan, but I am still making efforts, and will continue making efforts. Cause even the 8:00 wakeups bring great time of slowly waking up, making breakfast and preparing food for the day, reading blogs, having a bit of a stretch…  I can taste what this extra half hour brings and imagine what an extra hour can be, or two hours? Wow. yummy. (I’m tempting myself with the reward of time. It’s the new chocolate.)

That’s all for now. It is time to move on in my day.

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By doriluthy, September 6, 2008 10:49 pm

Now I’m a believer.

This come from the unbelievably talented Catherine Ledner. LOVE. LOVE.

Sigh, love more. How could you love a sheep MORE? Thanks Catherine.

Love!

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By doriluthy, September 6, 2008 10:18 pm

Where is the balance between independence and co-dependency in a relationship? No-one ever really attempts to define that, except I hear much fear-mongering about too much of one or the other… If you lived your life and relationship according to what feels best to you, and didn’t use any external meters of “relationship success”, do you imagine that happiness can actually be attained? I think now of my 92 year old gram who was married for over 50 years… did she stop and fill in quizzes and questionairres- “how is your love life”… i doubt it. I also doubt that her version of happiness was/is the same that I search for. (or not?).The expectations, 50 years ago, on a marriage were very different than today. Then, you married for survival of community, family, self (especially as a woman in the early 1930’s).

Today- well, i haven’t heard a very good reason for marriage in a long time- but the point I am wondering about further is the purpose of children in a relationship. D-man and I (Yes, we are Star-Trek nerds. My father trained me well) just watched the season 7 episode of Voyager when Tom and B’Ellanna found out they are expecting a baby, and the intense scrutiny and self-reflection they go through. Although I was quite cynical about B’Ellana’s childhood post-divorce now-adult angst (read a self-help book or two, lady!) there were the questions about serious change in life and life activities, and the joy each person was feeling/or not… But really, shouldn’t WE be feeling really compelled and delighted by the idea of kids? We are in our 30’s now, and shouldn’t we be setting our life plans for a future with kids? Shouldn’t we… anything that has to do with discussions around the possibility? Instead I feel like we are busy talking ourselves out of it. What is this thing happening? Who am I, a woman previously desiring children as much as she desired a home and family, and now just “not so sure”? oh dear… Give a woman the right to question her station in life. (HAHAHA!!!). THIS alone defines why I am pro-choice. (oops!) Forgive a woman who has had a couple (maybe more) glasses of wine as she writes her truthfully-honest-inside-out-blog (and stopping to look out at the prostitute standing on her street corner looking for a job). I am brutally aware of my roots, and what the right of choice might have meant in the 1940’s/50’s (well, possibly my non-existence).

Okay, i seem to have lost track of how this turned from a conversation about relationships to a conversation about pro-choice ethics… never mind.

Dustin is snoring upstairs, he’s had a long day of wake-boarding and a 2year olds birthday party. Me? studio time and shopping for fabric for curtains. Independence vs. co-dependency. What? Well, I appreciate any feedback.