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By doriluthy, October 27, 2007 1:34 pm

My apologies, dear readers! I have been much distracted the past few weeks and unfortunately have neglected my blog in the process… About a month ago I got an email from G., a former classmate and industrial designer, and she invited me to be a part of a very exciting project. It could be called a very LARGE project, and also with some smaller opportunities too, it ultimately turned into a business possibility for me. And so with the help of a dear friend (known from here on as “business guru”) I jumped into early planning stages to determine if it was going to be possible/feasible/viable for me to be a part of. Let’s just say it was going to be a huge career change from my current life as an artist. And I started out the process truly believing that it was something I wanted to do. It seemed like really good timing to be considering this- for a few weeks leading up to this email from G. I had been feeling like I needed to be making a change in my life, and also I have a passion for her product designs, and it was still something to do in the ceramics world, and maybe it could make me some money down the line. For so many reasons it appeared like a great opportunity. But as we all know, opportunities of magical proportion rarely make it past the dreamy planning stages. Anyway, in the midst of this exciting time it was about 2 weeks of not a lot of sleep, many many number crunching sessions on excel, and nightly hot baths to calm my head. (Not to mention that Dustin was in China, again, during this entire time.)

And then a few things started happening… The very LARGE project started to fall through. Then G. asked me (innocently enough) at one of our meetings: where do you see your life going in the next few years? – and I totally choked at the question… apparently I am not as on top of things as I might have thought. Then during one very long walk (see previous post!) my business guru admitted he was wondering why I was sacrificing my art life to pursue something that would probably bring me a lot less joy than art making. (He also assured me we would have had this conversation eventually.) Then 2 good art friends admitted to feeling the same when I told them about this project… And then others saying the same…

So then what happened? I went to Oregon for 5 days and surrounded myself with my dear dear family. While there I officially decided to step out of the project, to not continue to pursue it, even for the small projects. The risks were too high, and I had many solitary hours on trains and buses to have a chat with my art-heart and try to remember why I have committed myself to this crazy creative world. While knitting row after row of a sweater with Oregon and Washington whizzing by out the window, I heard in my head the voices of the people who really care for me, voices asking me why would I give up being an artist- especially now when things are going so good in the studio with the new work I am creating? I asked myself over and over G’s question: where do I see my life going in the next few years? Again I choked at this question, then I made up silly answers, and also tried some serious answers, and in the end still am not quite sure. I had some chats with the dead and the not-yet-living… How often do we stop to do this kind of ’soul searching’? Not often enough, apparently.

I mean- Life is THE thing, not to be taken too lightly. (Then again, not too serious). I get really overwhelmed some moments feeling like life is just breezing by me, and what do I have to show for it? I think I had the vision for myself at some point this year- of Dori’s life as an artist, but I seemed to have lost it somewhere in the past few months. The art work is pouring out of me right now, that doesn’t seem to be the problem. It’s my commitment to wearing the title “artist”, and my admitting that is what I am, to really admitting to the fact that a big chunk of my contribution to the planet will be through my art- and THIS seems to be the place where I get caught up and feeling inadequate. There is another question, and I’ve asked it before: IS THIS ENOUGH?

I think that’s enough for one post… Just another day in the life of an artist, I guess.

A special thanks to my Business Guru for all his help, charm and wisdom.

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By doriluthy, October 5, 2007 11:11 pm

The fortune cookie never let’s me down.
“Solutions will come to you while you are walking.”

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By doriluthy, October 3, 2007 11:58 pm

Charlie’s photos have inspired me almost more than I can contain! I saw the posting of his walks around the Lake District, and now I am dreaming of a multi-day walk through the English countryside. To walk and dream and write and sketch in a space that is wild and not so wild, ancient, and full of mystical possibilities. I want to fall into a bed at night and feel the ache of my legs and back, only to get up the next morning to do it again, and again, and again… To push myself to the limits; I guess this compulsion I am feeling is the equivalent to going to an ashram, taking a vow of silence and meditating for hours every day- But I feel the necessity to activate and stretch my body, to occupy my muscles as I am working to quiet my mind. Is this me wanting some “Dori time”, to step back and assess my life as I approach 30? Whatever. I want to walk.

The Coast to Coast walk is what I am thinking of. To walk for the sake of walking, to open my nose ears eyes mouth skin to the elements, to sneeze really loudly and hear the echo in the mountains (nature’s “bless you”)… to ACHE! from hard days of working the body. It’s approx 15 days from St. Bees Head on the West coast, through 3 national parks, including the absolutely stunning Lake’s District, over the tallest mountain in England, a total of 190 miles to the village of Robin Hood’s Bay on the East coast. What more do I have to say? I’m in love with it all. I’ve already packed my boots and socks.

What does it take to work one’s body up to a 15 day walk? I suppose not much different than training for a marathon… I’m going to start doing some walks around here, although the challenge in Vancouver is that almost immediately you are faced with MOUNTAINS, and with that comes WILDLIFE (think bears and such). I only mention this because I think about walking solo, alone in my thoughts and in my challenge, with a sketchbook as my only companion. (I’ve got an old James Taylor song in my head). So in the mean time there are day walks like Stanley Park, Baden Powell Trails, and the Endowment Lands- I guess that’s a good place to start for now. Any other recommendations?

There is something that feels biologically nostalgic about wanting to walk in a place like England- It’s one of my favorite countries, full of quaintness and charm, and it’s a place where the history of footpaths and walking from village to village is as old as the country, it’s the place where I want to tap into my “ambulatory past life” and move my body from here to there. I guess growing up in an environment where the use of vehicles is a standard mode of movement, and walking was generally avoided, I feel like I want to reconnect with my body’s potential, and experience the inherent “slowness” that accompanies the pace of my feet. And it’s not that the tradition of walking in the USA isn’t a huge part of the history and development of the country (both ancient and modern), but it’s my own experience with how the USA today, in general, undervalues the experience of self-propulsion, and instead overvalues it’s commitment to vehicles- it’s this unappealing part of the US culture that really draws me to want to experience the joy of long walking in a country where it is still alive and valued as both a historical function and a modern pleasure in a really apparent way. Roots, yo.

Part 2: I was just soaking in the bathtub, and thinking about what this walking history means as a North American… thinking who I can imagine as models for this activity across such a vast space of land as Canada or the USA… Of course Terry Fox comes to mind immediately, and then there are the thousands of settlers moving from east to west in search of land and gold and fortune, oh and Lewis and Clarke walked their way with their group of explorers to the Pacific… and then I started to see in my mind the movement for thousands of years before all of that- like a little interactive map with dotted lines going this way and that way, just filling the space of my imagination- the original people of North American walked everywhere, and back again. Talk about biologically nostalgic, such a flow of people, going back in history farther than I can imagine, walking walking walking.

I wonder if walking in England feels so appealing because of the scale of the country… that I, Dori, can actually imagine crossing by foot, on paths, through “wilderness”, in about 15 days, west to east, and coast to coast, a WHOLE FRIGGIN’ COUNTRY! (And no bears).

Like I said, my boots are packed.