Comments (1)

By doriluthy, November 10, 2006 9:53 am

I can’t beleive what happened to Duane. Buddy, my heart goes out to you. It really puts life into perspective when something so shitty happens to someone you care about. My life problems just seem alot less dramatic compared to random acts of violence causing extreme bodily injury.

hm.

updates:
- Erin’s here with us again for a few days making some $ working for a gormet candy lady down at Cirlce Craft Fair. What that also means is treats for us! YUM!
- Dustin’s job search is progressing slowly, lots of positive energy, please! The one job we both want him to get is teasingly close to possibly happening.
- I’m getting some time in my studio to clean and work a bit for the upcoming CRAWL. If you have never gone- this is one event not to be missed. I am pretty excited for this year’s event- I’m in my new studio space, and new work to show, come by for a visit and glass of wine.
- I’m going to Ottawa for Silvia for a big art/craft fair Dec. 5-19- for 2 weeks! Anyone know anyone there who can help work for a few days? I am pretty excited about it, never having been to that part of Canada. I hear there are some really fabulous galleries.

The past few days have been pretty mellow, I’ve finally found my way out of the head/spirit fog that had been hanging around for a couple weeks. I think it really helped having my dear friend Angie and fiance Steve up from ORegon for last weekend. A chance to just relax, smile, sleep alot, play some fun game, and unload worries onto the oldest friend i’ve got. Gracious and lovely Angie. It warmed me up for Erin coming, which has been some good old soul talks happening, and then Keiko and Dan last night keeping us laughing past midnight! Ahh. I guess when you are feeling lonely, it takes saying it loud enough until the universe responds by sending you the best people on the planet to shake you back into feeling good.

So here’s me feeling good again.
ciao.

Comments (3)

By doriluthy, November 1, 2006 11:02 pm

Strange fog, walking around feeling depressed. Face and eyes feel heavy, as though tears can spontaneously spout at any time, with no control. The question “how are you” (innocent enough) is a tear magnet, and without warning the questioner get showered. How can loneliness hang out in such a friend/love filled place? The weather? (sunny, cold, like S.D. in winter). Dustin’s job situation? (temporary lay-offs at the company leave us wondering about the next paycheck). People everywhere, caring, sympathetic; but how can I explain something I don’t know how to explain? Faceless, gray, fog. It seems like nothing, and then everything, at the same time keeps it smoldering inside of me.

Thank you Dad, for your gentle words. I realized how much we write like eachother. Strange genetic link?

Erin is to be a mum. She needs prayers, too.

As for me.
I think i need to figure out what my soul needs. like, really needs.
The first thing that comes to mind is an old song by John Denver (a favorite)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lost and alone on some forgotten highway
Traveled by many, remembered by few
Lookin’ for something that I can believe in
Lookin’ for something that I’d like to do with my life

There’s nothin’ behind me and nothin’ that ties me to
Something that might have been true yesterday
Tomorrow is open and right now it seems to be more than enough
To just be here today and I don’t know

What the future is holdin’ in store
I don’t know where I’m goin’, I’m not sure where I’ve been
There’s a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the livin’, I don’t need to see the end

Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without care
Like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you read all those words? Go back, read them again. It’s that important to me. Now sing them. Hum them. Download the song off i-tunes. Learn the guitar, play along. Then when you see me next time, sing it to me. Remind me. It’s okay to be so scared and unsure about life. No, really, Dori, it’s okay.