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By doriluthy, April 11, 2010 10:30 pm

The video of yesterday’s evening meal- just a little entertainment for the Finn fans.
And would you look at those baby cheeks!!

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By doriluthy, April 9, 2010 11:02 pm

Oh how the days roll one into another, weeks going by so fast, and Finn is a big dude now at 5months old! He’s already over 19lbs, and 28 1/4″ long- and if you know baby sizing, that’s almost the size of an average 1 year old! We are so delighted by his charming disposition, his smiles that go on for miles, and his social nature. Some days I worry I’m not doing him justice in keeping him entertained and occupied. It’s so much work to keep up with a curious bambino! I am really anxious for summer to get here, I plan on spending a huge amount of time at the local park lying out on a big blanket with other baby friends and piles of toys and stuff to play with. In the meantime we make it work in the small space of our apartment, and lots (LOTS!) of outings throughout the week. Spring fever came on strong. Here’s a snapshot of Finn playing with a toy, LOVE the face: (You can watch the video HERE)

And 5 months? Seriously. How did we get this far in the blink of an eye? All I know is that is one big blinking eye. I don’t think I have ever felt such a tremendous rushing by of the time as I have in the past 5 months. I look back at the photos from Finn’s first days with us, and I can hardly believe that was even in the same lifetime. Honestly, I find it a bit hard to look at those photos and see that tiny precious baby, and remembering how emotional and exhausted I felt, and how desperate and out of control I was feeling about the breastfeeding difficulties. A big part of me so wishes I could go back to that very moment of birth and restart, to go through all of that again with the knowledge and information that I now have. I realize in retrospect how unprepared I was when it came to breastfeeding, and that I was operating on the assumption that it was some natural process that would just ‘work’. Of all the reading and studying I did leading up to his birth, that was the ONE thing I regret not having spent more time attempting to understand. I have no idea if that would have resulted in a different outcome, but I just have such sorrow for the loss of that experience, and would it help to ease it somehow? (I suppose anyone familiar with the stages of grief can put their finger on this one- odd how knowing that this is ‘normal’ to be feeling this way doesn’t help either). Just the same today as every day for the past 5 months, I’m still struggling along with my tiny milk supply- struggling with a decision to continue putting in the time to give Finn a daily snack of mama-vitamins (about an hour+ of pumping daily for 2-3 ounces), or do I just let it go… I’m sure from the outside it’s almost laughable, why bother? I’ve been clinging to the desire to breastfeed, even as I watch in the past 3 months my already small supply drop drop drop to this point. I have no clear idea in my head about when it would be ‘right’ to stop. I have no clear idea about why I think this is so important to me. I do have a feeling that stopping is something like giving up.

Will I EVER stop feeling this way? Will I finally get a grip and just feel OK? … The part that makes me the angriest is that no-one has been able to give me an explanation for why it didn’t work. I wonder if knowing that there was some reason would help make swallowing it somehow easier. Although I realize now that the loss I feel has to do with MY relationship to breastfeeding, and much less to do with Finn’s well-being (as he’s turning out to be doing quite well as a formula fed bambino, thank God). But I am entirely incredibly jealous when I see other mothers breastfeeding their babies, and that sense of loss is so deeply profound. I have wanted it so bad, but it’s not ever going to be part of this reality of Finn and mama. So that question of when do I just give up? Let it go?

My apologies, these entries seem to be incredibly bi-polar these days- mama drama and then adorable bambino… But I feel like this is part of my healing about this struggle. Parenthood is Awesome, but why don’t people tell you how freakin challenging it’s also going to be? Hmm, I’ll tell you. But that being said, I am also the kind of gal that feels the need to end on a positive note- besides, I know you are all here for the baby pictures these days. Yah Yah, Dori, Blah Blah- Show us the BABY!

Well it turns out this post is all about food (variations on the theme). We’ve started working on solid foods this week, although I can say it’s much more of a sampling than really eating. He slurps and licks, noms and lips, and a bit of the food probably makes it down his throat. I’ve decided to hold off on the boxed cereals that are touted as ‘first foods for baby’ for a little bit (I have a few thoughts on this) and see what he thinks about ‘real’ foods- whole foods that are nutrient dense and full of goodness. Avocado is a natural choice for first food- full of healthy fats and proteins, chock full of fibre, a natural source of Vitamin C and Iron (just to name a few of it’s awesome properties)- good things for my baby’s growing body. Also on tonight’s menu was a baby smoothie of blended berries- a blue/raspberry combo which might taste a little tart, but he seemed to enjoy the flavour!

I’m trying to get the timing right as the past 2 nights we’ve been eating a little while after his last bottle, but he seems to be getting too tired by the end of the ‘meal’ to enjoy it… I think I’ll start working on food in the middle of the day- maybe after he wakes from a nap before he’s hungry for milk, and see if that makes any difference.

For anyone interested, these are the books I’m delighted by when it comes to baby feeding: (although for now I have to skip the  “breast is best” chapters or I end up with a furrowed brow)
- Feeding the Whole Family, by Cynthia Lair
- Real Food for Mother and Baby, by Nina Planck

Okay, Finn feel asleep at 8:00pm, and I’ve had the luxury of writing this post in one sitting- a rare treat. But I suppose I’ll head to bed now that my guts are spilled for the night.

Ciao!

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By doriluthy, October 13, 2009 10:15 pm

Yesterday was Canadian Thanksgiving! I love that this celebration of thankfulness, goodness, food, and bounty falls in October in Canada- it just makes so much sense! All of the amazing foods are in season, harvest time for the best fruits and vegis of the year. Dustin and I spent a few hours working at my studio getting it all cleaned up for my upcoming maternity leave. When we came on home all I wanted was to do was COOK. Definitely I was in the mood for some comfort food… Oh comfort food! I was thinking spicy, and pumpkin, and soup… And then there was all this Thai Basil from the garden waiting for some love…

When I posted over on facebook that I was gonna try to make a soup, I got a few requests for a recipe! Well, I’ll try to get it as close as I can, as it was one of those ‘just wing it’ kinds of cooking nights. I recommend tasting and adding as you go. The Basil and Chilies came out of the garden- and other than a few green tomatoes and a SCHWACK of chilies still hanging on, the garden is pretty much done- a nice way to celebrate it’s finish!

Charles recommended the addition of lemon grass, and I can only imagine that would be awesome! If I had any, I for sure would have put some of that it. So here’s what I remember about yesterday, and a few ideas for adjustments:

Thai Basil Coconut Pumpkin Soup- itsa spicey

1 small/medium size pumpkin
3 medium onions, chopped
2 cloves garlic
2-3 Tbsp Thai Green Curry paste (or more, to taste)
1 can coconut milk
3 red or green hot chilies (this gave a really nice heat, but feel free to add more if you like it SPICEY!!) NOTE: Dustin said to warn that these chilies from the garden weren’t THAT hot, so if you are going for some store bought hot chilies, be aware of your own spice levels, and maybe 1-2 chilies would be enough.
2 bunches of thai basil, finely chopped- RESERVE a few leaves for garnish
salt to taste
3-4 cups of soup broth (chicken or vegi)

OPTIONAL ingredients:
- lemongrass
- chicken or pork, cut into small strips
- toasted pumpkin seeds!

Chop the pumpkin into large chunks, rub lightly with oil and salt, and bake for an hour on medium (350?) heat.

While the pumpkin is baking, saute onions and garlic until very soft and caramelized. Toss in whole chilies (chop off the stem-tops) and saute on low with onion/garlic. (Add Lemon Grass here if you have it!) When pumpkin is soft, remove from oven and allow to cool for a few minutes, then peel the skins, throwing the pumpkin meat into the onion mix.

Mix in 3 cups of the broth and Thai paste. Allow to cook for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Add coconut milk, and chopped thai basil, and stir. Taste mixture at this time- need more curry paste? Mix in more as desired for taste.

If you added them, remove the lemon grass chunks at this time.

Blend the soup in batches to a creamy consistency. Return blended soup to the pot, and add more broth as needed, depending on your preferred thickness, and add salt and more curry paste!, as you prefer for taste.

If you want to add meat, do so here, and allow the soup to cook for another 15-20 minutes until the meat is cooked through. (I made it with chicken, and holy yummy yum.) Just before serving, garnish with a few of those basil leaves (and some toasted pumpkin seeds!). Ta-da!!

If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, I recommend roasting up those pumpkin seeds while the soup is cooking. They add a nice additional garnish to the soup, and snack for later! (OR sprinkled on vanilla ice-cream with a dash of cinnamon! YES!)

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By doriluthy, July 7, 2009 10:47 pm

Hi! It’s my birthday today!

And as a present, the baby got the hiccups for the first time that I could feel. I started giggling once I realized what it was. At first I was wondering what the little jiggling in my belly was, and since I no longer have any organs in the vicinity, I realized it must be something else… like a baby? Whaaa?? But it was so obvious once I stopped working and just paid attention- oh so weird…

That’s the thing about being 23 weeks + 2 days pregnant. The baby is still small enough (about a foot long, about a pound heavy), and even though I can definitely feel the action happening in the belly, specific movement is hard for me to decipher. An elbow? Rolling around?

Anyway, enough about the Peanut.

I want to send a big huggy thank you to all the dear friends and family that checked in today to send birthday wishes- I don’t think I’ve had quite so many phone messages with people singing to me as I did on this birthday, my happy 31st. Makes a girl feel pretty darn special.

And also to celebrate on my birthday, I’ve been twittered today for the first time in my life! Thanks to sweet friend Wendy who captured the love between me and my first cake of the day (1 of 2, teehee), and then promptly posted the pic for all the world to see. (Hi people of the internet!)

Well, I’d say I’m off to bed, but with the sugar high from 2 pieces from 2 chocolate cakes all within the last hour and half- I think I’d better go run around the block… Or go scrub the bathroom… Or go whittle some small wooden animals as gifts for my unborn child…

Ciao.

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By doriluthy, January 22, 2009 2:12 pm

Hey cats! Thanks for the yummy feedback about the granola- glad to hear it’s spreading it’s oaty-goodness across the planet!

I’ve been in a baking mood of late, and had the pleasure of making a big funny cake a couple weeks ago. I wanted to share the recipe here, because it was the best carrot cake I’ve ever had. And I’m not tooting my own horn, because the recipe is called “Canada’s Best Carrot Cake”!  And it really is! The Canadian’s I served it to LOVED it. Icing- not too sweet, cake- lots of carrots, and SO moist. I know of a big carrot cake fan who reads this blog- let me know how it goes?

Why did I bake it? The Mergatroid building- which is where my studio is located, along with about 40 other artists, had a big party, to celebrate the new year, and we threw in a surprise “lotta-love-in-our-hearts” celebration for our building owner, Mr. M.F., who is just the biggest sweetheart in the world. I mean, how many people can say that about their landlords? I CAN! The cake was part of the surprise.

So here ya go:

Link to REcipe: Canada’s Best Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

And photos:

OH the magic of food colouring! Thanks to my business guru, who is quickly becoming a expert (ahem) kitchen helper, for mixing up JUST the right colour green.

About that colour- the Mergatroid bldg is painted that colour. I forget what Mr. M.F. called it, but I think it’s chartreuse. The photo doesn’t capture it very well. But dang it was tastey!

Moments before devouring:

This cake passed the strict Flavour Approval Rating Taste System (FARTS) of 6 year old Maya. She gave me a FARTS-2.  That means she came back for seconds! (Your FARTS is directly proportional to the number of times the child goes back for more. This can be tricky if parents are nearby to manage the system, greatly limiting the highest rate achievable. I personally think this cake deserved a FARTS-6. Honestly.)

Enjoy the recipe!

Ciao.